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Wednesday, 22 September 2010

  • Hi Xanga!

    Fuck tumblr! I don't think I'll ever leave this site again.

    As always, though, I return back here to find my recent posts rather childish.. Still, it's not like I mind. That's how I was a year ago, I suppose. I'm still pretty childish today, quick to passive aggressive anger. What a hypocrite, but whatever, I shouldn't be ashamed if we all are(?).

    I'm going to bed, I've stayed up long enough, sigh.

Sunday, 19 July 2009

Tuesday, 30 June 2009

  • the pedastal...

     i don't get people.  people think so highly of themselves, it disgusts me.  whether it's about how they are so unique and different than everybody else, or having their innocence left seemingly unscathed (despite being tossed into a swirling pot of different and diverse personalities called HIGH SCHOOL), they all oughta get the fuck out.  -_-;  i'm tired of people looking down on me, what bullshit is this that you think you can ignore me, belittle me, or even something as so stupid as to try and pick a war with me?  don't get your shit mixed up, if anyone's better than anyone here, I AM.  but there isn't anyone better, we're all equal, so stop looking down on me.

    maturity?  yeah, you're mature, all right.  hiding your innermost feelings and thoughts so that to avoid getting hurt, laughed at, or ridiculed.  you ride the bike, but once you fall down, you cry to the whole world about it.  come on, now, you're not mature, in fact, feigning it at a young age of 16 only proves you're riding the mainstream level of idiocy (meaning you're not unique), i hope you know that.  your head-strong persona only reveals one damned thing, and that's that you'll shatter like glass when you're dropped.  oh, and only God knows how much I'd LOVE to see that

    get the fuck out of here, you think you won?  i already told you, it ain't worth it unless you win the whole pot.  take a bite outta me!  i don't give a shit, because if you ever cross paths with me again, i guarantee you, i'll chew you up and spit you out faster than you can say, "a point is a point."

     

Tuesday, 16 June 2009

  • I always doubt my friends, almost every moment, if not that, every day.  If not that, every week.  I don't know why I'm always paranoid, I just am.  I guess I just never really got so close to anyone.  It's always nice, though, to be reassured of the friends you have.  This paranoia, though...  I hope it won't be a problem.  I hope it'll go away soon.  Because right now, I am so sure of my friends, how trustworthy they are, how they always have my back, how I can depend on them as much as they depend on me... and although this feeling will be fleeting, if I record it here, I'm almost certain my paranoia will soon diminish to nothingness. 

    I can't push them away, and I can't close myself off because of second guesses..  I'm already pushing away someone subtly, I can tell...  They don't know it now, so while they don't, I'll try and grab hold of it as much as I can...  It's not too late.

Saturday, 13 June 2009

  • scratchpaper 4

    feels like insomnia...

    i'm so hopeless
    even when i know i'll end up with a loss
    i still cling on to any chance i get, no matter how small
    why?  what is wrong with me?
    can i not just.. wait...?
    can i not just learn?
    why can't i just stay still...?

    i hope this summer isn't a blowout
    i really want to make the best of these days...
    last year was so cold...
    so stupid...
    blinking lights, i hate them.

    i have no passion.
    God, color me red,
    i don't know what anger is.
    what sadness is.
    what love, or death is.
    i'm half empty.

    left and right
    fly up in the night
    my hopes and dreams and wishes
    made up of yarn and cotton balls
    and so easily carried by the winds...

    we ride the clouds like birds
    and we tread the ground like caterpillars

    i have something sweet
    softer, even lighter than air
    more valuable than gold, silver,
    rubies or diamonds,
    bigger than all of us put together...
    if only formless forms such as time
    could work as bribery


ecafrusehtrednu

  • Visit ecafrusehtrednu's Xanga Site
    • Location: United States
    • Member Since: 7/14/2007

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Chatboard (10)

  • ecafrusehtrednu
    @wussuh_imlilyx - i'd rather a POV view mahself
  • wussuh_imlilyx
    i like lanky men in my pornos.
  • ecafrusehtrednu
    @wussuh_imlilyx - done, and done. :3
  • wussuh_imlilyx
    DO IT TO IT, MEISTER . :O
  • ecafrusehtrednu
    @wussuh_imlilyx - should i pf this pic? lmao so old :3 thx for it though :]]
  • wussuh_imlilyx
    things look cooler tilted sideways/auto fixed. http://i316.photobucket.com/albums/mm340/xlilyLILYlam/EHEHHEHEHE.jpg
  • ecafrusehtrednu
    @wussuh_imlilyx - apparently... *refreshes page*... 474 days. but i only dusted this xanga up since september or so. haha.
  • wussuh_imlilyx
    whaat the. how long have you been on xanga?
  • ecafrusehtrednu
    @wussuh_imlilyx - i didn't even know i had a chatboard.. o_o; or how to comment pics on xanga >_>;
  • wussuh_imlilyx
    argh. i want to find your picture so i could comment it. but i ended up here. .__.; why?